I can't cut my bush.

Pyroman · Post by **Pyroman** » Mon Jan 26, 2009 11:04 am

Just call it fat and it'll cut itself.

Sarb · Post by **Sarb** » Mon Jan 26, 2009 11:13 am

mr_penguin · Post by **mr_penguin** » Mon Jan 26, 2009 1:40 pm

Why do you need to cut it?

Mar · Post by **Mar** » Mon Jan 26, 2009 10:25 pm

mr_penguin wrote:Why do you need to cut it?

It owes me three months back rent.

Let's keep this bush thing going. Let's say I wanted set this "bush" on fire, k? For fun we'll hypothetically say I'll collect the life insurance money. Here's the catch: it has to look like the skank caught on fire by some sort of natural disaster. Now I know you're all thinking, "Mar, my man, go with the classic 'flame typhoons'!" Unfortunately they aren't very common in this county so I'm gonna have to think outside the box on this one.

Edit: For some reason "skank" seems to be censored. By "skank" I meant "cheating whore". My apologies if this caused any confusion, now please keep rolling in the ideas HM, for every minute that this "bush" is alive is another minute of my life destroyed.

Cobain · Post by **Cobain** » Mon Jan 26, 2009 11:25 pm

nair is definitely your best option.

Infern0 · Post by **Infern0** » Tue Jan 27, 2009 3:03 am

Mar wrote:
mr_penguin wrote:Why do you need to cut it?
Let's keep this bush thing going. Let's say I wanted set this "bush" on fire, k? For fun we'll hypothetically say I'll collect the life insurance money. Here's the catch: it has to look like the *** caught on fire by some sort of natural disaster. Now I know you're all thinking, "Mar, my man, go with the classic 'flame typhoons'!" Unfortunately they aren't very common in this county so I'm gonna have to think outside the box on this one.

Just put your barbeque next to it... and well, go bbqing and "accidentily" bump it into the bush. 's Not that hard now is it?

Geo · Post by **Geo** » Tue Jan 27, 2009 6:15 am

We don't condone murder here at HaloMods.

Xero · Post by **Xero** » Tue Jan 27, 2009 7:13 am

If you cut your bush it will grow back twice as fast and be itchy.

Excal · Post by **Excal** » Tue Jan 27, 2009 7:30 am

Xero wrote:If you cut your bush it will grow back twice as fast and be itchy.

He's right, it does get itchy. Really, really itchy.

diamondbackk60 · Post by **diamondbackk60** » Tue Jan 27, 2009 9:14 am

and i hate those ingrown hairs

shadowkhas · Post by **shadowkhas** » Tue Jan 27, 2009 10:15 am

diamondbackk60 wrote:and i hate those ingrown hairs

What the frell are you talking about?

We're talking about a bush.
And it doesn't matter if it gets itchy, it's not like he's petting it every day.

diamondbackk60 · Post by **diamondbackk60** » Tue Jan 27, 2009 10:26 am

uh i mean umm lol yeah dont pet your bush

-DeToX- · Post by **-DeToX-** » Tue Jan 27, 2009 10:48 am

diamondbackk60 wrote:uh i mean umm lol yeah dont pet your bush

I think you deserve to go in that bush with the whore.

diamondbackk60 · Post by **diamondbackk60** » Tue Jan 27, 2009 10:58 am

lol i think so too.. but it may be fun

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Tue Jan 27, 2009 11:05 am

May i suggest good old fashioned chemical warfare?

bcnipod · Post by **bcnipod** » Tue Jan 27, 2009 11:44 am

I can't cut my bush

first thought that came after that was "oh geez". ever thought of getting someone else to do it for you?

JunkfoodMan · Post by **JunkfoodMan** » Tue Jan 27, 2009 1:49 pm

Here's what you do with the bush.
Wait for it to be alone. Wait until nobody is around, check to see if there are any cameras nearby. No cameras? Great.
Grab a pillowcase. Perhaps a large one, something that will constrict its branches while covering the top (you don't want the bush to see your face). Find where its mouth is, and do the whole chloroform sh'bang.
Now that the bush is unconscious, you can do whatever you want with it. Of course, I'll leave this up to your imagination, Mar.
Now, pick up a small hatchet and Strike the main "trunk" of the bush. Begin chopping off the branches. Don't use a chainsaw (you wouldn't want to wake the neighbors, Mar).
Place the branches in small separate bags, so you can dispose of them in a manner in which it is impossible for somebody to find out what happened to the bush.
Bring them to your nearby dump/place bags in garbage cans (in a random order down your street, or throughout the town in which you live).
Remember to clean up after yourself. Bring a spray bottle of Vanish or Cillit Bang. This stuff cleans up what mess a bush leaves behind when being diced with a hatchet (Trust a bro, it works wonders).
Once you've cleaned up, continue on with your life. Do what you enjoy, have fun. The bush wont bother you again.

INSANEdrive · Post by **INSANEdrive** » Tue Jan 27, 2009 7:21 pm

JunkfoodMan wrote:I'll leave this up to your imagination, Mar.

Famous last words. Must you doom most of us JunkfoodMan?

{TP}Spartan · Post by **{TP}Spartan** » Tue Jan 27, 2009 7:24 pm

Why can't you just be friendly with him, did he ever hurt you?

Yodel · Post by **Yodel** » Tue Jan 27, 2009 7:55 pm

Geo wrote:We don't condone murder here at HaloMods.

Don't lie.

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