Im going through hell right now.......

[jeremy900]

everyone.....couple of days ago my parents died due to a car accident. my grandma came and picked me up to go live with her. I love my brother to death, but i don't know if it is for the best that i live with him cuz, my grandparents are in a more secure place to raise me (financially) the only thing im worried about is not being able to see him. my grandparents don't really like him, they don't even care that he walks the face of this earth. so what do you think i should do.

ps. my bro posted his last farewell and it got deleted. (for him evading the RC. which i know rules are rules) im not asking to lift the RC but, could you please put the post backup. he's getting evicted saturday as well as all the electric, water, and gas shut off today. so i was just wondering if you could put the post back up there for him so that when he does feel down he can always go somewhere and see things that kinda lift his spirit. i am also scared cuz he called me and said "i loved you, we will meet again one day i am sorry, please dont cry when im gone.", and then asked me if i think it would hurt, then he hung the phone up. i don't know what he meant when he said "do you think it will hurt?" i just hope its not suicide....i couldn't handle another death.

[Ragdoll]

im very sorry to hear that. i know how you feel, my uncle killed himself last week. he was my idol. we all have to move on though, no matter what you cannot change the past.

As for your brother, please get him as much help as you can before he actually tries to do something to himself. I hope everything turns out ok for him and the rest of your family.

[shadowkhas]

My condolences go out to you and other family members dealing with this...I can comprehend what you feel like right now, but no two experiences are the same...
Just take good care of yourself, try to keep your brother's spirits up, and just realize that even though it's tough now, you've got to keep going, or else you'll be stuck in a cycle of being sad.
Also, here is the post in question:

i know none of you know who i am.......even if you did you wouldnt like me, thats why im under this name. I was banned a couple of months back due to......stupidity, dishonorable,harsh,mean,greedy, selfish, unreasonable, foolish acts. I riped some stuff from Acemods and posted it as my own. i have done some pretty bad things in my modding career, (i am truly ashamed and dumbfounded by the things i did nor am i happy or proud of them.) The main reason im posting this is that i will no longer be a part of the modding world. A couple of days ago my parents died in a car accident.......the fuxed up thing is......i never got to say bye, i love you, or even give them a hug or kiss. In-fact all i gave them was a big FU*K YOU! before they left for there movie.
I got a call from my grandma saying that she was coming to pick up my brother.....she never told me why, or even sounded like anything was wrong, in-fact she acted like everything was perfect. I just figured she was coming to pick him up to go play laser tag (like she always does). when she got there she took him and left. i called her later that night and she told me everything...about how they were killed by a drunk driver....(one that was driving a semi at that) at that moment my whole life came crashing down.....i haven't heard from them since. she wont answer her phone...nor will she return my calls. the power company is going to shut down my power tomorrow, the water company is stopping service to my house tomorrow, as well as i will be evicted out of my house by the land-lord. I guess you do allot of things without thinking, or even considering the consequences of what your doing. i have to live with the feeling of not saying my goodbyes.....but sending them to die with out a care (at that moment).i am sorry acemods for stealing your stuff, taking credit for it and showing it off as my own, the truth is....i thought you guys were the sh*t....i never met a bunch of guys that good at what they do. once again i am sorry for any dismay or trouble i put you through. if i could go back i would....i would change it all...i would have said "bye...i will charish every moment we ever had together...and i will always remember you and i hope to see you one day again. please watch over me and jeremy......mom.....dad...i love you."
Just remember what things could happen when you dont think...always go back and reexamine what could go bad and.....is it wrong. say...I love you to the ones you care about(AND BE SEN-SEAR) always help those in need and before you seriously judge someone.......look at there situation. bye guys and thanks for all the fun times (before i fu*ked up)

~darkparadox89~

[jeremy900]

thanks shadow it really means allot to me..... i will tell him that you posted it in this thread so he may come here and check out what people have to say. it brings me to tears to read this i haven't read this before now and not to mention my bro doesn't EVER show or tell his emotions to people so this is quite a speech for him.....again thank you so much it means so much to me.

[BEEF!!!]

Sorry to hear about what happened man. Really hope you get through things and things work out with your brother.

[Guest]

I'm so sorry dude. my great grandma i think it is not sure who she is but im related to her, but anyways shes living like 3-4 hours away from us I have never met her all i know is she is dieing. cancer or somthing i dont know all the details.

[UPS]

I'm glad this got unlocked.
I've never had a relative die, but my god, I can't imagine what it's like. I wish you the best.

[Guest]

I'm glad this got unlocked.
I've never had a relative die, but my god, I can't imagine what it's like. I wish you the best.

as do i but UPS it is a horrible feeling I can not describe it.. it... its just horrible i hope you never have to feel the emotions for family members passing on but everyone has to go through it once in there life.

[Kirk]

I can't comprehend what you're going through right now. I've never had something like it happen to me, so i'm sure it's worse than anything I can think of..

My condolences for you losses and I just hope you can get through this okay, as well as your brother.

[[cc]z@nd!]

this is terrible. i'm as sorry as i can be for you and your brother without actually knowing either of you, and you need to move on.

as for your brother feeling like crap for not saying goodbye, let him know that they still loved him immediately after his harsh farewell, and always will. he shouldn't be hard on himself because of it, because there was no way he could tell what would happen. rather, he should take this as a sign he should live in the present; life's too short to be angry or sad all the time, and he should seize opportunities before they are gone. he's probably going to be very depressed for a while, and you two will need to stick together. Let him know that life goes on, and to just keep on going because things will get better. suicide is never an option, because it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. you're sad now, but you won't always be, so don't let this moment in time drastically affect you two.

Personally, i think the best thing you could do to honor the memories of your mother and father would be for the two of you to keep on going through life and make the best out of things. Your parents would never want to see either of you severely affected by this, so you've got to cherish the memories, pick up the pieces, and move ahead.

and as a last bit of parting advice, feel free to express your feelings to people about this, and get support from your friends and anyone else close to you. i can speak from experience that if you just hole up in your own little shell, never letting much in or out, things turn out bad, and it really messes with your head in the most demented way possible.

anyways, stay strong, don't give up, and feel free to come back here to chat.

[Trulife8342]

There are no words what so ever to explain your feelings, We all know that it must be extremely hard but we can never truly understand how you feel, You need to be strong and try and get help for your brother. Once he sees you give up he will have no other option in his mind to give up. So stay strong if only just for your brothers well being, I know your going to miss your mom and dad, but just thank God for all the smiles you all shared and the lessons they taught you and your brother in order for you two to become great men. Always live your life not as if it was your last, but if it was everyone else's, Then you would always let people know how it is you feel about them.

Try and explain to your brother that it isn't his fault and that he shouldn't have any guilt, explain that on 9/11 couples that went to work and that morning they were in a fight and would argue and not talk to each other only to find out that later that day they wouldn't be at the dinner table, its not so much what happens before you go its who remembers and mourns once your gone, Im sure they see that in heaven. Even though it seems as if it wont do anything im going to pray for you tonight and every night this week. May your parents rest in peace

God bless, Mauro.

[RaVNzCRoFT]

No words of apology or sympathy can do justice to what you must be enduring.

So I'll just say best of luck to you and your family.

[Philly]

Good luck, phil out.

[Dead XXX Matt]

DAMN! Dude im so sorry. I feel bad as hell for you man. this happened to my cousins. my uncle and aunt died because they were gonna get into a divorce, and it was really hard on my uncle or something, and he was doing alot of drugs. so one night he went insane. my aunt was at my other aunts house, and he came and shot his wife (my aunt) in the head and my other aunt in the stomach (shes still alive and was concience the whole time). anyways, my uncle eventually came out of his insanity and realized what he did. so he commited suicide. and my cousins lvie with their grandma. The same thing jsut happened with my old old friend just last weeked. i still cant imgaine what your going through though. i mean, i feel so bad for you. R.I.P to your parents. And i hope you and your bro are aright and get trhough this fine. my cousins are doing good, i think you can too. Im sorry to hear man. Wish i could help you someway

[-Treetoad-]

I'm so sorry to hear about this. I know what having a person that was very close to you die feels like. It's the worst thing that could ever happen to you. The worst part is being depressed for days on end, knowing things will never be the same. You almost expect them to walk through the door, and everything to be the same again. All I can say is hang in there, things only seem bad now.

[xXxCocoFangxXx]

I'm sorry as well. I've had friends die like that, but not parents, so of course it must be worse.

=[

Good luck to you! Don't think of suicide either!

[Corvette19]

I feel so sorry for you. Good luck and stay strong.

[INSANEdrive]

My Utmost and Sincerest Condolences to you and your brother dear sir.

[hell_knight]

salute to the fallen

[XBC-Requiem]

As difficult and impossible as it sounds, the only thing to do is move on. If you linger over the negative aspects of life, your life will become negative.

If you can move past this, you will be a much stronger person (emotionally speaking) than you would have ever thought possible.