The Scientific Truth About Santa

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Locke




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The Scientific Truth About Santa

Post by Locke »

Here is the truth about Santa. I found this rather amusing.

1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species
of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are
insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer
which only Santa has ever seen.

2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18 ) in the world. BUT
since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and
Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378
million according to the Population Reference Reference Bureau. At an
average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million
homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different
time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west
(which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is
to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has
1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney,
fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat
whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the
sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8
millions stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course,
we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will
accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of
75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at
least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.

This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000
times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made
vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per
second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming
that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds),
the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably
described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more
than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could
pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even
nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even
counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for
comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air
resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as
spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer
will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In
short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the
reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The
entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second.
Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times
greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim)
would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's
dead now.

Merry X-mas.!!!
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Post by {D »

Seen this before, but it's good and true.
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Post by BEEF!!! »

Santa got pwned.
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Post by JK-47 »

lol.

Hey beef, nice to see you back as J.A. 8)
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Post by xXxCocoFangxXx »

JK-47 wrote:lol.

Hey beef, nice to see you back as J.A. 8)


Hellz ya! Glad to see ya.


Santa got Pwnzord.
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Post by UntoldLegendxx »

Poor santa... stopped believing at age 9
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Post by JK-47 »

I figured out in 2nd grade. I saw my parents laying down the "santa" presents during the night.
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Post by UntoldLegendxx »

Yeah not to mention that i made cookies for "santa" with a little ingredient that will make him sick and then the next day my dad got sick.
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Post by JK-47 »

Lol awsome.
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Post by Rallos »

Beef!!! wrote:Santa got pwned.
Woah, thought you were Raven for a second.

Nice to see you back in red.
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Post by Tural »

I am Santa. =o
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Post by Cuda »

No, I believe Locke is.
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Post by MaestroMan »

The last paragraph was the funniest to read, imagine that crippled flattened goulish looking pancake santa IN YOUR HOUSE?! :shock:
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Post by Danke »

I cried.
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Post by FleetAdmiralBacon »

Well, duh, Santa has the power to stop time. Therefore, he has as much time as he wants. They used that in a movie once, don't remember what it was called... (they also did it in Clockstoppers, but the movie I'm thinking of was about Santa stopping time and being able to shrink stuff)


Of course, being the logical type, I knew there was no such person since as far back as I can remember, but rather that Santa is an idea, the idea that giving is more ethically important than receiving represented as a fictional character that represents all that is good and jolly. Also, another fact is that milk spoils, so if you left out milk and cookies for Santa, you'd be poisoning him if he drank the milk.
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Post by [cc]z@nd! »

i still like the mental image of santa and his flying reindeer legion hurtling through the atmosphere at mind-melting speeds hell-bent on distributing goods all over the world. while on fire. like a moving nuclear explosion.

physics: 1, santa: 0
ASPARTAME: in your diet soda and artificial sweeteners. also, it's obviously completely safe. it's not like it will cause tumors or anything. >.>
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Post by FReAK »

[cc]z@nd! wrote:physics: 1, santa: 0
lolercakes.
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Post by a mammoth »

He isn't real!!!??? NOO!!
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Post by Battery »

how am i going to explain this to my cats? yes my cats do get presents from santee clause.

cant wait till chrismas tho, not for the presents, but for my family.
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Post by JK-47 »

Battery wrote:
cant wait till chrismas tho, not for the presents, but for my family.
LIES!
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