Cuda wrote:Someone somewhere said that Once you post it, you already have copyright, IF you can provide sufficient Evidence that you originally wrote it.
Sorry guys, I have to start the whole thing over again, I wanna get some stuff in that I never did. Here's the new chapter 2. Chapter 2
September 17, 0630/Cairo Orbital Station
Sol System
The gym was a large white room, the ceiling covered with fluorescent lights keeping every inch of the gym well lit. Blue wrestling mats covered the floors in patches, as well as a boxing ring centered in the room. Climbing ropes reaching the lights 30 feet up stretched to the floor ever ten feet. The walls carried weights, boxing and fencing equipment and gear, as well as scoreboards above and portable wrist computers to monitor all cardiovascular activity. The Spartans colored the perfectly white gym
Cuda wrote:Someone somewhere said that Once you post it, you already have copyright, IF you can provide sufficient Evidence that you originally wrote it.
First, it is understood that the Halo storyline is property of Bungie so this, as an unofficial fan work, would be considered a parody of sorts. Also, because it's been posted with a specific username it is copyright (i believe) of that user. These might seem to conflict untill you realize that it is the works posted that are copyrighted, not the characters, weapons, ect. While you're not likely to be sued over this, it's still probably best to place a disclaimer at the begining of the first chapter.
Second, I think that you are showing enormous potential with this. There are so many elements that have been touched on so far that can be expanded upon, you could probably write a novel without too much effort. It's a good read and moves smoothly though each chapter. I, however don't think you should replace chapter two with the new one. It doesn't quite fit as well as the original. Rather than starting off with a blunt 'ODST's hate Spartans' showdown, perhaps use little things building up to it. Say, as they pass in the coridor, the ODST will inentionally bump shoulders, or perhaps snide coments when passing their baracks. Also, while feats such as the MC moving his boot is possible with his enhanced body, he'd still be moved when kicked since he's still roughly the same mass as an ODST (the wouldn't work out in their armor). Also, crushing a handgun would be near imposible without his armor, even with his enhanced bones and muscels. Maybe replace it with him dismantling the weapon one handed. Other than that, you're doing a great job and I seriously look forward to further work on this.
Well, about crushing the handgun, that seems very possible seeing back in The Fall of Reach, they got up very early in the morning, vitamins injected each day, and high protein meals. I think it would be very possible.
Even so, a handgun is made from very strong material. Even with an upgraded body, his skin and muscels would give way before the metal bent. It's just the physical properties of the opposing materials. Vitamins and special diets can't do THAT much for someone. Not to mention, he just got back from a war zone where having an MRE each day would be a luxury.
gundamzuki wrote:Even so, a handgun is made from very strong material. Even with an upgraded body, his skin and muscels would give way before the metal bent. It's just the physical properties of the opposing materials. Vitamins and special diets can't do THAT much for someone. Not to mention, he just got back from a war zone where having an MRE each day would be a luxury.
Damnit Just let the boy write his book. I think its a great story. so far.