ok ive been working on this site about the past week (not much i no, pretty simple website) and am proud to say that www.halostories.tk is up!
quote directly from the site:
" You may be wondering, what is Halo Stories?? Well, obviously, it is my website for stories that i write about halo. I enjoy writing stories, but i didnt know what to do with them so i decided to make a website, and this is it "
it has an ad and a couple popups i think, but its ok
i can write much in this topic that will decribe it or make you like the website. its easiest just to check out the site itself, go and read the first chapter, see if you like it, post in the forums... whatever, go and enjoy the website.
so get going and check it out.
and one last thing, feel free to post this on other websites like gearbox forums or bungie.
www.halostories.tk is online!
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peabnuts123
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Spartan III
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I'd normally say "no advertising, post it on the front page," and delete the topic. This looks like it may have some potential.
I've got some constructive critisism about the first chapter of your story, though. It's nice how you've tried using different characters and settings, but, I think some of the descriptions were a bit...well, how should I say it? Off-track, and reptitive. Just being honest here, let me give an example:
"During the attack on the starlight haze, which, by the way, was ambushed by two covenant cruisers, a new form of covenant missile impacted right on your cryobay and everyone in it except you in your wonderful amour died."
Well...
1. That was way too long of a sentence and described too much - for one sentence. I think you should've perhaps gone into depth describing this missle.
2. And how wouldn't the Master Chief know about this? You're saying he slept through some huge explosion that killed everyone else? I know that Cryo sleep is a bit different...but Jesus! I wonder how many alarm clocks he needs. That guy who's talking almost seems happy too, saying "you and your wonderful armour." I don't think he'd be admiring the Chief's armour when many, many of the crew members died in this missle attack.
Well, that's my rant. Keep things spaced, don't make things ridiculous, and otherwise, the rest of the story seems okay. Just keep at it.
I've got some constructive critisism about the first chapter of your story, though. It's nice how you've tried using different characters and settings, but, I think some of the descriptions were a bit...well, how should I say it? Off-track, and reptitive. Just being honest here, let me give an example:
"During the attack on the starlight haze, which, by the way, was ambushed by two covenant cruisers, a new form of covenant missile impacted right on your cryobay and everyone in it except you in your wonderful amour died."
Well...
1. That was way too long of a sentence and described too much - for one sentence. I think you should've perhaps gone into depth describing this missle.
2. And how wouldn't the Master Chief know about this? You're saying he slept through some huge explosion that killed everyone else? I know that Cryo sleep is a bit different...but Jesus! I wonder how many alarm clocks he needs. That guy who's talking almost seems happy too, saying "you and your wonderful armour." I don't think he'd be admiring the Chief's armour when many, many of the crew members died in this missle attack.
Well, that's my rant. Keep things spaced, don't make things ridiculous, and otherwise, the rest of the story seems okay. Just keep at it.
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peabnuts123
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Patrickssj6
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